Did You Hear That?

Date: January 18, 2010
Time: 12:30 p.m.
Place: Bayshore Mall, Eureka






Two women and a man are eating bad Chinese food in the Cafe Court of the Bayshore Mall and talking about their online dating adventures.

Woman 1: Every man who I think might be the slightest bit interesting turns out to be a complete freak. The last one I was talking to made some crack about drowning me.

Woman 2: Not really the kind of joke you should make if you want someone to actually meet you.

Woman 1: No kidding!

Man: Meanwhile, I met a guy online who's a real estate developer in Fort Bragg and owns two houses. He sounds really great.

Woman 1: Why couldn't I have just been born a gay man?

Man: A gay man without a gag reflex. It helps.

Did you hear that? (Double Bonus DYHT week)

Date: December 8
Time: 12 p.m.
Place: Cafe Court, Bayshore Mall, Eureka, CA

A somewhat neurotic man and a very helpful woman are eating cheap Chinese food and chatting.

Man: I've been wanting to put my computer out in the living room instead of the bedroom, but I'm afraid that when the neighbor kids jump on the trampoline they'll be able to see the porn through the window.

Woman: Well, you could hang a curtain.

Man: Good idea. Did you know that I always clear all my private data everytime I get off the computer? All the history and everything.

Woman: Why? So your dog won't see what you've been looking at?

Man: I'm afraid that if a burglar ever comes in my house, he'll steal my computer and then see all my porn.

Woman: Huh. I think you should just stick a note on it that says, "Dear Burglars, please don't judge."

Did you hear that?

Date: December 5
Time: 7 p.m.
Place: An Arts Alive venue in Old Town, Eureka

A man, as part of a large crowd enjoying a holiday choir performance, turns to the woman standing next to him and says:

"That was the biggest jingle bell clusterfuck I've ever heard."

Did You Hear That?

Date: March 10, 2009

Time: 5:30 p.m.

Place: a Fortuna laundromat.

A man is talking very loudly on his cell phone in the middle of the laundromat.

"Really? You found it in her room? She admitted it was hers?"

Long pause.

"Well, it sounds like you need to decide what you'd rather have - a daughter who's a tweaker or a daughter who lays around on her bed and does nothing. Either way I'd ground her. For at least two weeks."

Did You Hear That?

Date: September 24, 2008
Time: 10:00 a.m.
Place: Old Town Coffee and Chocolates


A cute small man at the next table is discussing his love life with his coffee drinking companion.


Companion: "So, you're into Asian guys?"

Cute small man: "Yeah. So my ideal man would be an Asian midget. My therapist thinks I may need to broaden my horizons."

Did You Hear That?

Date: April 7, 2008

Time: 6:00 p.m.

Place: Chapala Cafe, Eureka



A cute little flamboyant man is sitting with a woman at the next table over.





CLFMan: I'm only going to order the soup tonight. I'm trying to diet.

Woman sarcastically: Uh, yeah, because someone who wears size zero pants should be worrying about dieting.

CLFMan: Well, I can only fit into the size zeros if I'm not wearing any underwear.