Monday, January 21, 2008

Drag kings, Nuns and Sparkly Green Panties

M.C.'d by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to benefit Humboldt Pride, the 2008 Mizz Thang Drag Pageant at Auntie Moe's nightclub was the place to be Sunday night.

I've been a huge fan of drag queens for a long time, and there was definitely some major talent rocking the stage. There was also some major talent rocking the bench seats....and the backdoor....and the bathroom stall...but that's a different kind of story. There were feather boas, grinding dance grooves, nun's habits, the yummiest looking drag kings on the planet, sequined undies, stiletto heels, strange door prizes, and everyone there either being who they are...or who they want to be...all for a good cause.

And even though the bartender made me a horribly nasty drink called "Bitch on Wheels," and then charged me for a new drink when I took it back to her visibly gagging, it was a fabulous time.

Here are some of my favorite answers from the very intensive interview portion of the pageant

Sister of Perpetual Indulgence: What do you want the judges to know about you?
Drag Queen Contestant: I like to cook Betty Crocker dinners and get flogged after dessert.

Sister: What do you think is the best way to help with the Middle East peace process?
Drag King Contestant: Um.......Uh......Maybe fly some rainbow flags all over the place?

Sister: What do you want the judges to know about you?
Drag Queen Contestant: David Bowie is my spirit animal.

Sister: Which brand of lube do you feel lasts the longest?
Drag Queen Contestant: My saliva.


Tapperass said...

Those first drinks were noteworthy for the HUGE chunks pineapple they were garnished with. At least the Cosmo's you had after were better.

The Wonder Twins with the matching shirts were worth a mention too. It is too bad the actual main event started late, I am sure it was a vblast too.


Anonymous said...

eeeewwwwwwwww!! :)

Kristabel said...

Ah, yes, the wonder twins who forgot their aluminum hats!

Also noteworthy was your own diva-esque exit, which would've been better in heels but was impressive nonetheless.

Running on queer time....what can you do but settle in for the long haul and enjoy? ;)

Next year we'll take Monday off.

Anonymous said...

So THAT was what that drag event was.

And I was telling all of my friends to head over to Samoa for the Sunday Drags....geez, did I ever get it wrong.

Anonymous said...

So Kristabel, your a lesbian now?

Erin said...

Didn't we just have this conversation Friday night?

I knew he'd be back!

Absolutely fucking amazing. My updated list of personal attributes is now going to include; An uncanny ability to predict the future!


Bumblebee said...

Oh memories.... I was just going to say, you left out the wonder twin nerds!!!! Good times my friend, good times.

Well Ordinary guy, funny you should ask Kristabel that question.../winks and blows a kiss

Tapperass said...

Alright, who is the dip shit that left the glow-in-the dark bread crumbs down for ordinary guy to find his way back. (OK, maybe he did)

At least he did not ask if you were a Lipstick Lesbian. Then we would know where he is going!

Oh, and Goddess, I would apologize for my abrupt exit, but I seem to recall that you had already predicted that I would not make it to the start of the Main Event. You probably also knew that my leaving would pave the way for my best friend to follow suit at the first opportune time. SO I guess I owe you an apology for leaving, and taking the only other straight guy in the venue with me (sort of).

The crack about the heels was very nice...I will reserve my right not to provide a snappy comeback.


mresquan said...

See Kristabel this is the stuff that makes your blog the best.I do hope you dressed up like your avatar.

"So Kristabel, your a lesbian now?"

Maybe she was before.And if so Kristabel,I fully support you!!

Kristabel said...

Ordinary guy...welcome back! I've missed you and that crazy little straight-laced world you live in. apologies...I was just utterly confused as to why a guy who would stick a dollar bill in my cleavage would take off suddenly without even giving me time to smack him on the ass. And'd be stunning in a pair of stilettos. time you're wearing the moustache.

Kristabel said...

Mresquan...I'm confused as to what you're supporting me in. My past life as a lesbian? My future life as a lesbian? Pretending to be a lesbian for one night?

Welcome home. I missed you and your crazy little world too.

mresquan said...

I support you in whatever you decide to do with your life.I don't think I need to explain that further!!

Kristabel said...

Aaaw...that's sweet....thanks, dad!

Jennifer McKenzie said...

LMAO. Best Lube=My Saliva. Great answer.
Sounds like you had a blast!!! And judging my the comments, this was only that beginning.

Erin said...

Let's go to lunch!

Kristabel said...

Friday lunch it is. I'm looking forward to watching you lick your spoon.


Erin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin said...

How about Tomo? It's bright and lively....


The Alibi? It's dark, seedy and inconspicuous....perfect atmosphere for spoon licking.

Be sure to bring your lasso and ruffled panties!


Kristabel said...

I'm all about dark and seedy. Obviously.

Anonymous said...

You never answered my question.

Defiantmuse said...

haha. My dad is a Sister. Nida Salivation. Good times. I missed the drag show unfortunately. But lemme tell ya - starting my night at 9:30 when I know for a fact my daughter will be waking up at 2-3am for her middle of the night, no so appealing. :)

kaivalya said...

What about Drag Kings?
don't leave them out of the party.

Kristabel said...

Kaivalya...did you miss where I called them the yummiest drag kings on the planet?