Just a tiny little sappy pre-valentine's day post

Two weeks ago I was lying naked on my stomach on a really comfy bed in San Francisco with my eyes closed listening to the city sounds outside the window. It was late afternoon and warm in the room; I was tired and the cacophony of sirens, cars honking, people shouting and cable cars clanging was lulling me into a near-sleep state.

Suddenly ice cold water plunged over my neck and down my back, soaking both my ample torso and the sheets I was lying on. I sat straight up screaming "Damn it!" and looked crabbily at my roommate, a cute tall guy with big hands who had accompanied me to the city and who was suspiciously holding a large empty glass.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly with a sideways grin and a shrug of his shoulders. "I thought it would be sexy to dribble a bit of water on your back and lick it off...but it didn't quite work out that way."

And in one small dorky moment of humanity I began to think that happily ever after may not be quite as elusive as I'd thought.

Saturday night souvenir

My friend
Boy Most Likely To
went to San Francisco,
















and all I got was this lousy chocolate-covered penis.

Friday Crafty Inspiration

If I wasn't going to be stuck in traffic school this weekend (damn you, Trinity County and your 55 mph speed limit and your no-online-or-home-study rules) I would so be making one of these, but I thought I'd post it anyway for any of you who need a weekend project.

I especially like the tattoos. Happy Crafting!

I also heart being tagged.

Really. I know some people think it's a pain in the ass but grudgingly play along. Others won't play at all. But I love discovering things about people - especially if they're really weird. The things, not the people. No, the people too. You know what I'm saying.

Indie over at the Bitten Apple tagged me. The instructions are to post the sixth photo of your sixth folder, then tell the story behind it.


These are my friends Julia and Angie. Aren't they cute? Yes, those really are name tags made from maxi pads on their shirts. We belong to a little group called "Not Yo Mama's Craft Nite." About once a month or so we get together for eating, drinking, kvetching and, of course, crafting. This picture was the product of a few too many lemon sorbet martinis. Mmmmmmm. My mouth is watering just thinking about them. I believe Julia's just about to hold the knitting needles she's hiding behind her back up to Angie's throat to threaten the last martini away from her. We're a tough bunch.

The group's been on hiatus for awhile, but we're going to regroup in March and are looking for new members. If you've got a crafty side and are interested (Indie, Monica, Carol, Beachcomber...?), shoot me an email for an invitation. It's a great time.

So now, I tag (Don't worry, I won't hold it against you if you won't play. Maybe.).....

Hank (Sorry, Hank. It was so fascinating the last time I tagged you, I just had to do it again.)

Jen

Jack

Eric

My favorite headmaster

and another Jen

I still heart statcounter

It's that time again! Here's a list (with just a little bit of commentary) of all the words and phrases that have led searchers to our little chocolate covered home in the blogosphere. There were the usual of course: assless chaps (which we haven't mentioned in ages,) chocolate breasts and the variants of spanking bench, but this time there were some that were new and just a little unusual. Really, I couldn't make this stuff up.

cheap xanax blogspot

Hey! We may be easy, but we're not cheap.

crush xanax in liquor

This either sounds like a really bad idea or a really great Saturday night.

humboldt county spanking

Just doing our part to liven things up behind the redwood curtain.

doggystyle promotions

Does it really need promoting? I thought everyone liked it!

gay spanking road rage

Why am I visualizing my friend Pancake wielding a paddle and screaming, "Taste the rainbow, bitches!" ?

sexual frustration blogspot

I realize the Saturday Night posts have been a little few and far between, but geesh...

i think my couch has poison oak oil on it what do i do

I don't know either, sweetheart.

xxx hot sluts

Yeah! It's about time!

tiger gets lost brady bunch

Oh my god! I love that episode almost as much as the one about the cursed tiki idol! Or the one where Jan wears a wig! Or when Marsha breaks her nose!

make a jail using pretzels and marshmallow

The kids must be making these in school now instead of those stupid missions.

humboldt weed

Wrong blog.

aging goddess martini

I'll start thinking about what ingredients should go in this new drink as soon as it stops making me sad. Maybe they'll make it for me at the Gilded Rose. Sniff.

Bigfoot ate my internet connection

When I moved to my funky little cabin in Loleta, one of the things that made me happiest was a close unsecured wireless internet connection named Loletalag. Since I'm still paying off a contract I no longer use with a nasty satellite company, pilfered internet is the only thing within my budget.

Several weeks ago the Loletalag connection suddenly disappeared. At first I thought that perhaps the owners had gone on vacation or that maybe something was wrong with their computer, but with a heavy heart I'm sad to report that Loletalag seems to be gone for good. My days of free stolen internet are over, which is also the main reason for my blog slacking.

I have so many stories to share, so I'll do what I can when my boss isn't looking. And if you know any good wifi hot spots around Loleta and Fortuna, let me know. Especially if they're in close proximity to cheap alcohol and/or strong coffee.

Another year better

Somebody is having a birthday. This somebody is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. To me she's like warm, melty ice cream on a hot cherry pie or a dip in a refreshing lagoon in the tropics. Yeah, she's like that. And for just one day I hope she knows how much I love and miss her. Happy birthday beautiful, this one's for you!