Tuesday, May 26, 2009

For Kristabel: Guest post from New York

OK, so probably not my best work here, but really, what do you expect on my quick break for lunch? Thinking of you.

Goodbye Bladder of Gall

Sung to the tune of Elton John's Goodbye Norma Jean

Goodbye Bladder of Gall
Though I never really knew you at all
You had the task of concentrating bile
When organs around you would call

The stomach, pancreas and liver
All whispered, "Yo, get to work."
But you just sat there smiling
For a non-vital organ, I guess that's a perk

And it seemed to me, you lived your life
Like a lazy dog in the sun
Never wanting to leave the porch
Not even if there was fun

And I'm pretty glad that you're gone now
And left like you did
The surgeon tore you from my guts
Before I ever could

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Just a little blog pause

Chocolate Covered Xanax will be in a holding pattern for a bit while I get a badly behaved part ripped out of my body.

Don't worry, I'll be back in a couple of weeks with exciting tales of the cleanliness, caring and culinary delights of St. Joseph Hospital.

I suppose I should wait until after the surgery to be so sarcastic.

In the meantime, Heraldo, Carson Park Ranger and Carol have all assured me that to honor my absence they will be posting their most outrageous Saturday night fantasies.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Big Giant Plant Sale

The weather is supposed to be sunny and lovely this weekend. What a perfect time to walk around a gorgeous yard drinking lemonade (or limoncello in a flask. Mmmmm), buy some plants and maybe even take them home and put them in the ground.

Charlie's Blossoms annual plant sale starts tomorrow. The plants are beautiful and healthy, and there's a huge variety: perennials, annuals, flowers, herbs, veggies. Plus the prices are super reasonable, and if you buy one or more tomatoes, you get one free.

Charlie's Blossoms Annual Plant Sale
Friday, Saturday and Sunday, May 15, 16 and 17
from 9 to 4
4180 Loop Road, Fortuna

Here's a map.

Check it out, and tell them Kristabel sent you.

I got my stash already. Don't they look amazing?

They're all ready to go in the brand new raised beds that Big Hands built for me. Although Zinnia, the sweet thing who adopted me several weeks ago, seems to have other ideas.

P.S. This is my mom's place, so be nice. And pick up after yourself. And please don't mention anything about Saturday night.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Did you hear that?

Date: May 10, 2009
Time: 5:00 p.m.
Place: Fortuna Safeway

Usually I reserve this space for conversations I've overheard. Well, actually, they're usually conversations that I've eavesdropped on, but overheard sounds less pathetic. Today, though, I'm sharing a conversation I had with a man at Safeway that I really can't figure out.

I am fortunate to have been born a nutball magnet. (Thanks, Mom, and Happy Mother's Day.) If there's a person who's a little off, a little rough around the edges, a little wild-eyed anywhere near me, they will almost always start talking to me, and it's almost always fascinating.

Today I was shopping for bananas. I'll only eat them when they're barely ripe, so I was trying to find the very greenest there. A man with unkempt grey hair started fondling the bananas next to me.

"You know," he said, "You can get these at Costco, and they look like they came right off the boat."

I looked at him quizzically. I wasn't sure what boat he was talking about.

"It's true. My wife and I got some, and when they turned brown, we ate them with cat."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond, so I didn't, just cocked my head in confusion as he hurried away.

I'm still left pondering. Is this a racist joke that I don't get? Does his cat like really ripe bananas? Should I stop shopping in Fortuna? Anyone?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Quote of the Day

Last night I attended a public meeting in Eureka to discuss the California budget crisis.

More specifically, to discuss the horrendous cuts being made to individuals and services of some of our most vulnerable community members, equaling over 100 million dollars, and how they will affect people in Humboldt County.

More specifically, to be lectured to about the inevitability of these horrendous cuts and how "we're all in this together" from someone who makes over $100,000 a year. My favorite quote:

"You see we're not actually talking about cuts here, we're just talking about how services will be provided differently."

I have no comment other than a deep and heavy sigh.