Monday, June 30, 2008

The Winner

This was a tough decision. Some of you really....ahem....rose to the occasion.

Some of need to mention any names...obviously needed a cocktail to lube your creativity.

Some of you were more interested in your own entertainment (Dancing in stilettos on our birthday? Um, no. Lying on our backs in stilettos while you feed us chocolate-dipped strawberries? Um, you bet. Take a note for next year.)

Our girls Erin and Bee made us shed a little tear with their thoughtful words and beautiful gifts, but they get to share in the chocolate covered joy anytime they want already. was a tie between Eko's 9 to 5 fantasy of Heraldo hog-tied in the back of a limo...yum....or the mysterious Anonymous's trip to NYC to see Mamma Mia on Broadway.

Dozens of phone calls and a cousin-on-cousin wrestling match later we had a winner:

Congratulations, Anonymous! (It was the "cheeky devils" part that really gave you the edge.) Here's the winning entry in its entirety:

For m'ladies: All expenses paid trip for two to NYC. 5 star hotel accommodations, wonderful wine and sumptuous meals, shopping, donuts and abundant massage/spa time. Tranny club hopping, limo ride to Harlem for a spanking from Bill Clinton (oops, projecting) and Mamma Mia on Broadway baby.
Happy Birthday you cheeky devils.

Follow the link in my profile to send us an email with your mailing address. The big prize is just sitting here waiting to be mailed to you.

Thanks for playing.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Get Your Entries In.....

Thanks for all the wonderful, outrageous and....well...downright odd birthday presents.

Although there are a couple of clear front runners, it's not too late to win the big prize.

Keri and I will be making our decision this weekend, so you've got until Sunday at midnight. We'll let you know Monday morning.

The Chocolate Covered Xanax Mystery Gift Assortment. Just let your mind ponder that for a moment.

You know you want it.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Treasure hunting

June is a busy month. So much to do and so little time. For our little family of dysfunction it means the end of school, the end of work (I know, I know, it's not fair, blah, blah, blah), multiple birthdays, anniversaries, projects, planning of said projects, vacations, BBQs, unpacking the summer clothes that your winter weight won't quite let you fit into anymore, etc.

On top of all these activities the yard seems to be going crazy, only in a good way. Flowers that I had long forgotten have started to poke through the weedy, neglected soil. I figure if they have the will to live then go for it. I love seeing their big expectant buds reaching for the sky. Just beautiful. My floral taste has matured over the years. I used to love daisies and calla lillies. Not that they aren't pretty in their own way but I find myself attracted to the vintage looking ones. You know, the ones that Grandma had in her garden. The dahlias, peonies, roses and hydrangeas. Oh, don't forget lavender, mint and some pinks.
Along with my change in flowers I've found I now lean toward old, loved objects as well. Maybe it's because I'm getting older that I seek out these treasures. Every year in June, Portlanders stage multiple neighborhood garage sales. Some are in historic, wealthy areas while others are in newer, ritzy developments. If you're like me and seek the thrill of the hunt you won't want to miss this opportunity. This year I went to the Laurelhurst area. Unbelievable!!! If you have the same right brain thinking and imagination that I do, prepare to be jealous.

Vintage Xmas ornaments, real crystal from a chandelier, old jewelry= $7.50

Postcards from the 1920's and Little Golden book = .75

Antique paper and silk Japanese fans from the 40's = $3.00

Tea tin sans lid = $1.00

Ricer/jelly strainer = $5.00

Apron from the 30's = $2.00

Playing with all my new treasures = priceless.

So...what's your best garage sale find??? Sorry Kristabel, you can't count the spanking bench.

Monday, June 23, 2008

It's Our Birthday!

A little over a year ago Keri and I stood in the kitchen at ABBA ranch licking a bowl of chocolate/orange cupcake batter after our harrowing experience in the wilderness. We were both feeling a little sad as she was leaving the next day to head back to her real life in Portland after a few days of crafting, boozing and kvetching in Humboldt.

"God, you know what would be the perfect thing for a day like this?" Keri asked. "Some chocolate covered xanax." It was then and there that we decided to start a blog for the sole purpose of staying in touch with each other.

We thought we'd exchange a few photos,bitch about whatever was pissing us off at the moment talk about new coping techniques, analyze in excruciating detail our relationships with men, share crafty tips and delicious recipes and complain brag about our families. And we did all these things. Plus a few more.

What we didn't realize at the time was that our little chocolate-covered world would also lead us to a community of people who were doing the same things that we were. Okay, well maybe not exactly the same things, but you know what I'm saying. Communicating. Putting stuff out there. Discussing. Sharing. Really, through all the neuroses and drunken stories and stupid girl tricks and tears and laughing so hard that limoncello comes out our noses....we're blessed to know you all.

So we want you to celebrate our 1st Blog Birthday with us! Some of you may see it as a Bloggiversary, but no. You don't get spankings for an anniversary, after all. We've decided, in a blatant rip-off of our favorite Boy Most Likely To..... to offer a little birthday contest giveaway.

Unlike our favorite Boy, we're not nearly as generous or practical. No useful gas card here. Instead, the winner will be the lucky recipient of a fabulous Chocolate Covered Xanax Mystery Gift Assortment. What will it include? We can't tell you for sure. But we promise you'll love it. Really. Don't be scared.

The rules? Just leave us a comment telling us:

What would you give us for our 1st Blog Birthday?

There are no restrictions. Money's no object. Fantasies are fine. You don't have to wrap it.

The most creative answer will get you the big prize.

Thanks for putting up with us. We love you. Yes, even you, Ordinary Guy. And especially you, Heraldo. Still. xoxoxox

Monday, June 16, 2008

Boys and their toys

Well it's finally summer and that means eating watermelon, getting sunburned and working on the purpetually unfinished backyard nightmare. Burt and I have been reconstructing the backyard for 3, yes 3 years. It's still not done but I think we might have a completion date close to the payoff of the 30 year mortgage. Sigh.
Anyway, since the weather has been so rainy we haven't been able to get back there as much as the man would like. A few weekends ago he had had it and stated with authority (which is a rarity), "We're doing it anyway!"

So, we strapped on our boots and raingear and headed to the rental store to rent the Dingo. The following ensued with a finale of being hosed off in the front yard.

Disclamer: If you are OCD about clean then you probably don't want to venture on.

Don't cha love a man working heavy equipment? Look at that rear view. Mmm, mmm.

Then the boy wants to get in on a piece of the action, but only after man directions are given.

You are witnessing a very rare ritual of men passing their stud skills on to the next generation.
Check out the concentration. I've only seen this look one other time and it was during the Wii.
Great, now he's found the mud pile as big as Jaba the Hut. Hey... get out of there!
Oh God, are those your new shoes?
I wonder if I can just throw him in the washer?
How can you get mad at that face???

Oh sure, there's laughing now but a few seconds after this shot, the shivers started and then the boy just got pissed. It's those pre-teen hormones.

You gotta love them. Right? Pass me another limoncello will ya?

Friday, June 13, 2008

Weekend Blog Crush

It might be the gin and juice I'm drinking tonight, but I find Doggerelface absolutely hilarious.

This brand spanking (hee. I said spanking.) new blog has taken on Leo Sears, ex-chief Murl, an infamous Humboldt archetype and today....our own sweet Rose. All in mad rhyme.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I've just gotta have it doggy style.

Blogging that is, perverts.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Losing control

And I'm not talking about Saturday night, damn it.

Recently my favorite Boy Most Likely To left me a little subtle reminder that I have been shirking my blog responsibilities lately.

I don't even know what to say other than I seem to have lost control of things. Now usually, with a few glasses of limoncello and a couple of rounds on the spanking bench, I'm quite fond of this feeling. But these's not the fun kind of control losing. Hopefully things will slow down soon.

Until then, at the end of each crazy and exhausting day, I'll be falling into bed with this guy, who has most certainly mastered the art of losing control.