Sunday, July 22, 2007

Black Sunday

Our country has lost two great women in the last few weeks who have, in their own ways, helped to push forward the idea of beautification. Which one was better known, it's hard to say. I certainly learned more and more in the endless TV coverage, breaking news and newspaper articles about their lives.

The first one to pass on was former First Lady- Lady Bird Johnson. I still don't know if either of those were her real names. I couldn't ascertain that fact out of the millions of tidbits of information. What I do know is that she was a gracious lady who helped to get native wildflowers planted along our boring, black tar endless highway system. Now when I'm stuck in traffic I can look out the window and smile warmly as I think of a happy place full of native poppies.

The second striking blow for us happened Friday. Tammy Faye Baker went on to that big PTL in the sky. Now you may be thinking, "Beautification? What the hell?" But let me tell you when Tammy Faye hit the scene in the 80's, none of us wanted to look like that! All us girls cleaned out our old clumpy mascara that we had used for the last 3 years and started over. We learned the power of waterproof mascara. No black trails of Alice Cooper tears for us! Suddenly, make-up and their users were transformed. The natural look appeared in teen 'zines and even in Vogue. It was if the hand of God broke through the heavens above and Bitch slapped us into a cosmetic reality. And in true Joan Crawford fashion we all screamed in unison " NO CLUMPY MASCARA, EEEVVVEEEERRRRRR!

So girls, let's all take a few seconds out of our make-up routines today, raise up those mascara wands, wave them back and forth and give a little shout out to 2 of this country's jewels.
To Lady Bird and Tammy. May Heaven be full of flowers and Wal-Mart's that are running an ad for 2 for 1 Cover Girl Waterproof Clump Free Mascara.


Kristabel said...

WALMARTS IN HEAVEN???? You're going to make Heraldo's head do a Linda Blair.

***waving mascara wand***

Thanks, girls!

robash141 said...

I actully had a personal brush with greatness, second handedly at least.

I went to high schoool with the woman who sold Jim and Tammy thier infamous luxary dog house.

She was in my civics class. I remember she went off and tried to scream me down in class one day because I had the unmitigated audacity to suggest , having been to both, that suburban schools were better in lots of ways than Innner city schools. Therefore students that go to suburban schools have overall better educational opportunities.

She totally wigged, her round little face turned bright red, a shreiking tomato.

After Graduation
the next time I saw The shrieking tomato was a few years later. when they Profiled her company on CNN as the leading name in high end luxary items for pets, and I remember they had counted Jim and Tammy Faye as some of thier big-name clients.

Keri said...

Wow, that's great cocktail party conversation! I'm so jealous. My only claim to fame is that I went to middle and high school with Tonya Harding! Yes, she was scanky back then too.

As far as the Wal-Mart comment, I guess we'll all see when it's our time. Me, personally, I want to see a big old Taco Bell Sign when I get there!

Kristabel said...

You two definitely have me beat. My only brush with celebrity was selling Robin Williams a map when I worked at Rand McNally in S.F.

Oh, I also declined a hit off of Mickey Hart's joint at the Save the Redwoods concert with Bonnie Raitt in the late 90's....can you really believe I'm from Humboldt???

As for the Taco Bell're killing me, cuz. KILLING ME. xoxoxox

robash141 said...

I would have to say that certainly Tonya trumps
Tammy Faye's dog house dealer.

Tonya is a cultural icon unto herself, almost as famous as John Wayne.

While my person was merely a bit player in someone else's decadent fanstasy life.

Anonymous said...

Maybe poverty wages are outlawed in Heaben.

I also declined a hit off of Mickey Hart's joint at the Save the Redwoods concert with Bonnie Raitt in the late 90's....can you really believe I'm from Humboldt???

Because you wouldn't hit the joint or because you attended a Save the Redwoods concert? It's hard to keep straight the popular misconceptions about Humboldt County natives.

Kristabel said...

I know, H. We're SO misunderstood.