Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Food...I Think I Love You!

Food and I have a tumultuous relationship. When I was younger and in my prime, I admit, I used him. I used him for one purpose and one purpose only, to provide me energy to keep up with my friends. I was thin and beautiful and didn't give him a second thought or a sideways glance.

Now that I am older with uh,...curves and emotional baggage he and I dance a strange Tango type dance that leaves my head spinning and my insides full and warm. I pursue him as I scour cookbooks and recipe websites devoted to him. I read blogs (like 299 Opine) and become giddy with excitement as he describes best places to eat and bread in a can. I touch my...tongue as I imagine the flavors that will eventually linger and come to rest there. I stock him with every fiber of my being knowing that a restraining order would be warranted.

I know that he is always there if I need him but he always leaves me with a little something extra when he goes. A cruel punishment of our tangled love affair. A byproduct of our love.

And so, I leave you with my latest crisis in picture story form. Enjoy...

Food, a Cautionary Tale
by Keri Gastro-Cuisine

This is the invitation to the wedding that started it all. (I am to be Matron of Honor at Kristabel's wedding.)

This is the dress (2 sizes too small) that I bought for the wedding because of the invitation that started it all.

This is pantry, that feeds my nervousness, at fitting into the dress (2 sizes too small), to be in the wedding that started it all.

This is the scale that screams at me for being in the pantry, feeding my nervousness at the thought of fitting in the dress 2 sizes too small for the wedding that started it all.

This is the ummm...curves, that makes the scale scream from being in the pantry, feeding the nervousness at the thought of fitting into the dress 2 sizes too small for the wedding that started it all.

This is the blog post that will always remind me that no matter how much I love food, I will NEVER again buy a dress 2 sizes too small.

The End... Again


Carol said...

Don't hurt yourself! You can always buy a bigger dress. :)

I look forward to meeting you at the wedding, Keri.

Kristabel said...

This is absolutely out of your control. Remember....in our family...food is LOVE...and speaking of one who has many more mounds of love on her flesh than you, my sweet, just get a bigger dress, and for god's sake, throw that scale out the window.

As long as you're beside me hanging tightly onto my wrist so that I don't run screaming through the sheep pasture and keep going all the way to Mexico..well..you can wear a burlap sack. Actually, that might be more appropriate for the sheep pasture. I love you.

Did you ever try that bread in a can?

Anonymous said...

I really do apologize for tempting you with my odes to hillbilly cuisine.
K & K, You haven't tried the B&M's Brown Bread yet? Perhaps you can serve it at the wedding? It compliments any and all food themes.

And yes, throw that damn scale off the cliff. Let it wash up somewhere near False Cape.

Kristabel said...

Ekovox....I just want you to know. I think we may have been separated at birth. xoxoxox

Keri said...

The canned bread sits lonely in my pantry, for now ;) Ekovox! Nice to hear from you again!!

Thanks Kris and Carol! In our family not only is food love but we have control issues compounded with stubborness. I REFUSE to let the dress beat me but don't worry I have a back up plan. I am going to take it to the tailor and let the sides out. Don't tell. AND of course I will be holding your hand as WE run all the way to Mexico!!xoxoxoxox