Tuesday, September 9, 2008

And now in the something tells me there might have been alcohol involved department

Maybe it's me, but I cannot stop laughing hysterically at this article from the Fresno Bee, "Burglar victims wake to spice rub, sausage attack."
The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

And an 8-inch sausage at that!

Unfortunately in the end, the great big weapon was eaten by a dog.

I'm sure Pappy's is lovely, but personally, when being rubbed by burglars, I prefer that they use larrupin sauce. And don't worry. I'm not even going to tell you about my sausage preferences.


mresquan said...

Hmmm,Kristabel,perhaps you ought to get that thing next to your coffe pot into a cupboard quickly.But then again I bet a caught burgler would have one hell of a time being punished on your little bench.

Kristabel said...

I don't understand, mresquan. Is that an offer?

mresquan said...

Well when I play burglar I'm going to cover you with Ranch dressing and bacon bits and will smack you with a cucumber.

Kristabel said...

Hee! You need to lay off the tequila, sir.

Anonymous said...

OMG! That's so FUNNY!

Anonymous said...

Any burgler who breaks into this house (even an eco-groovy one) is quickly going to be much too preoccupied with running for their own life to worry about what kind of dressing they will use

heraldo said...

Maybe it was PETA.

Or perhaps they were looking for a pita.

The Boy Most Likely to ... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Boy Most Likely to ... said...

Though the Burglar played hard to get, uh-huh-huh
The Burglar knew he'd woo them ye-het
He showed his affection
And his Sausage obsession
And the victims hollered some Interjections...

Well! You've got some nerve!
Oh! I've never been so insulted in all my life!
Hey! You're Sausage is kinda cute!

Interjections show excitement or emotion.
They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,
Or by a Sausage when the seasoning's not as strong

Kristabel said...

So, if you're happy...Hooray!

Thanks, Boy! That's my very favorite schoolhouse rock song.


Erin said...

Hello lovely Kristabel,

Glad to see you're writing again.
Terribly funny. Also, love to read the commenters in a hot power struggle over what to rub all over you, and whom to do it.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you didn't get into your sausage preferences. Too much info, thank you.

nervousrex said...

I'm so glad you didn't get into your sausage preferences. Too much info, thank you.

I'm repeating this comment because I did not want it to be anonymous, just learnin' the system here.