Things that make me feel better after driving home with a terrible sake hangover and realizing there are probably things from the night before that I

should regret saying but unfortunately can't remember enough to regret them:

1) Boys with spiky hair who work at Safeway

I realize that every moment of every day that goes by I move a step closer to being 40. I also realize that this means I have most definitely moved into the realm where young people who bag my groceries might begin to call me ma'am. Spiky haired boys at Safeway certainly realize this too, but they wisely wink and call me miss anyway, god love 'em.

2) Yams

Hot, steamy, yummy, orangey...baked and eaten with nothing but some fresh salted butter on top. They settle my stomach and make me feel all wholesome and earthy and pure and virginal again.

3) Langhorne Slim on the ipod.

His voice is just unhinged enough to be comforting.

4) Snow

Beautiful, silent and peaceful snow. Getting snowed in means that maybe by the time I'm able to get to town again, everyone will have forgotten about all the inappropriate things that came out of my mouth.

5) Daffodils

The coming of spring means that I can melodramatically blame my overindulgence on the dark, dreary, depressing days of winter and my feelings of grief and loss and hopelessness. Sniff.

6) Love is blind

I have a husband who upon seeing me this morning about to hike up to check the water tank in fleece pajamas with sheep on them, hot pink rubber boots and hair that hadn't been brushed for two days said, "You look like Super Homesteader Girl. That's hot." While doing the dishes, no less. What more could a girl ask for?

P.S. If I happened to have seen you outside the Shanty and loudly pointed out the upstairs window you need to yell at in order to get crack, sent you a pornographic email, flashed you while you were driving or talked to you on the phone and asked you to run away and join a traveling carnival with me and let the bearded lady homeschool our little carny children...well....um....sorry.